Starting high school is a significant step in every teen’s life. It is also a time of mixed emotions – simultaneously excited and anxious; hopeful and fearful; confident and confused, for the student and the parents or guardians.
Parents and guardians play a crucial role in ensuring their student experiences a smooth and positive transition into high school. This period of adjustment brings new surroundings, classes, expectations, and a growing sense of independence. As high school students express a stronger desire for autonomy, parents may notice a shift in their role. During this time, it may be necessary to take a constructive look at the balance in the parent-teen relationship and work together to identify a dynamic in which the teen’s need for independence is acknowledged and embraced. Encouraging teens to take a more active role in decision-making, while maintaining supportive guidance and open communication, can foster mutual trust and help teens navigate this pivotal stage with confidence.
Parents and guardians of children and youth with physical and other disabilities navigate these same changes during the transition to high school in addition to a number of other considerations. Parents and guardians of students with disabilities are keenly aware of the critical difference the right equipment makes at school and in life. With access to proper tools and support, students with disabilities are empowered to participate, engage, and excel in school. With that said, parents and guardians of students with disabilities are more often than not, also aware of the challenges that frequently arise when arranging for equipment in a school setting. Your experience at elementary school has shown that mistakes can be made and the equipment you arranged for in June may not be available in September, or the teacher that seemed open and willing in the spring meeting is now harder to work with. And just as the school is new to your child, it is also new to you and you are not sure who to contact or who is responsible for special education programs and services.
The first thing to recognize is that things will go wrong and that high school staff have lots of experience of the challenges, and how to fix them. You also need to re-look at the transition plan developed in Grade 8 and prioritize your issues. The transition plan should have included a contact name at the high school and you may want to start by contacting that person, in the week before school starts. You need to know what the most important issues are in the plan. If your child needs health or personal supports, that may be the top priority. It may not matter that there is a mistake in the class schedule, but it does matter that your child needs help with feeding or toileting.
If you have covered the health and safety aspects the next concerns may be about accessibility, equipment and supports in the classroom. The school visits in the spring should have identified any accessibility issues and if they haven’t been addressed, this may be your next priority. It would be ideal if the new computer is available and working on the first day, but it is not as critical. On the first day the school may have special assemblies or events to welcome new students and teachers are more likely to be talking about classroom procedures and the curriculum plan than actually teaching new subjects.
The First Few Weeks
As you both settle into the new routine, you can start to learn more about the school and the teachers. Attend any Open Houses or Meet the Teacher nights. This gives you (and them) an opportunity to put a face to the name, and to start to build a relationship. It is not the time to share all your questions and concerns, but rather to ask some general questions and find out about the teachers plans. It may also be a good time to request an individual meeting, or to find out how they would prefer to communicate with you.
The end of the first or second week may also be a good time to follow up with your designated contact at the high school. You can check in with them about arrangements that still need to be sorted out, or let them know that everything was in place. You can also find out if they will be your on-going contact or if a change is to be made.
The Individual Education Plan (IEP)
Encourage your child to advocate for themselves and check with each teacher to make sure they have a copy of the IEP. If they are not able to advocate for themselves, you should contact the teacher, and if they don’t have a copy, you could provide a copy or encourage the teacher to find a copy. Whether they have a copy or not it is important to highlight the most relevant elements. Letting the teacher know what accommodations, instructional or assessment strategies work best can be helpful.
The IEP must be reviewed within the first 30 days of the term or semester, typically 6 weeks or by Thanksgiving. Your child or you can ask the classroom teacher, and/or your contact, about the IEP process and how you will be involved. Some school boards use online systems and you may be able to access the current or draft IEP through the parent portal. As this is the first review at high school a meeting might be more effective and you can let the school staff that you would like to meet with them to discuss the IEP. If you are not available for meetings, let the staff know how else they can involve you in the process by phone or e-mail.
Supporting the Student
One of the best ways you can support the transition to high school is by listening to your child and talking regularly about school. A non-verbal child may use their Augmentative or Alternative Communication (AAC) device to share with you, or you may pick up signs from their behaviour and attitudes. As a parent you may want to follow up and get issues addressed quickly, but you also need to respect the student and encourage their efforts to problem solve and be more independent.
The importance of listening can’t be understated. Your child is growing up and starting to make their own decisions, and talking to you can be a great way to share their thoughts and test their ideas. Often they are not looking for solutions but sharing their feelings and perspectives. They may be looking to you for support, but they don’t necessarily want you to solve their problems. Asking questions to help them describe the problem in more detail, or to identify possible solutions can be helpful. It is also important to acknowledge their feelings and let them know it is OK to be mad, or frustrated or disappointed.
Friendships
Friends are important and having someone, or a group of friends, to share the experience of starting high school can be invaluable. Positive friendships are an important part of the journey to adulthood. They help teenagers learn important social and emotional skills, such as being sensitive to other people’s thoughts, feelings and wellbeing.
Ideally, your teen has arrived at high school with a friend, or friends from elementary school. In the first days and weeks these friends will be help your children find their way in the new environment and be available to share feelings and fears. Sometimes these friends drift away as they are in different classes or programs; others will become closer with common classes and experiences.
Extra-Curricular Activities
High schools offer a wide range of extra-curricular activities from a lunch time chess club to after school sports teams. Joining a club or team is a great way to make friends, build skills and become involved in the life of the high school. Typically there will be an event early in the school year to highlight the activities available at high school.
You can encourage your child to review the list of activities and select one or two they would like to join. They may follow their current interests or decide to try something new. Both options will provide a chance to meet new people and have new experiences. Positive experiences in extra curricular activities will help them feel more connected to their new school and develop a sense of belonging.
Moving Forward
Over the next year you can support your child’s success in a variety of ways. Attending school events and activities will help you to build relationships with school staff and become more comfortable in the new school. On-going communication with the classroom teachers will enable you to work collaboratively to solve problems and be involved with reviews of the IEP through the year. It will also help you to feel involved and connected to the school. Listening to you child will enable you to support their independence and provide a safety net when needed.